Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just had sex on a roof
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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