i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
