I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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