i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
