Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
