Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
