i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
