When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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