I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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