haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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