A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
