haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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