So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
