Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
