Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
