At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
