You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
