Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
