Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
