I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
