How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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