Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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