what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize