I saw his package. It spoke to me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
