you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
