i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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