you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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