i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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