I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Buhtt sex?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
