Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
