can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
