I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
