she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
