lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
