He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize