as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
