I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
third nipple confirmed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
