Duck Duck Cougar?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
