Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
