Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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