Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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