he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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