If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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