i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do herpes really smell.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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