nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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