You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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