ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
