her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
