I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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