FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
