i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
