ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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