I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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