Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
