woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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