Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
