What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
