Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
