Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
this hospital has no fireball
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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