Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize