i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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