i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i will never coherently bang her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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