like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
