She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
