she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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