3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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