eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
