I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
