do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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