I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
