I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
