Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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