she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
