I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
